Confidence Myths that Won’t Build Your Confidence

Feb 6, 2023Self Care, Self-Confidence

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Girl alright so I didn’t want to get started on this subject but I will. There is so much going around about confidence. We get advice like, ‘Fake it until you make it’ ‘Stand up tall’ ‘Walk into the room like you own it’  ‘All you need is the perfect outfit and makeup’  “Its all the shoes, what shoes you wear is an indicator of how much money you make”. 

And this is all wrong. And it leads us to believe that as long as our external appearance is taken care of and we’re “pretending” to be confident then we will.  Yes, when you look good you do feel good and yes some of these things will help be SUPPLEMENTS to your confidence, but they aren’t the foundation. Sorry in advance for the rant I’m about to make.

Want me to tell you what actually builds our confidence?  It is knowing and OWNING who you are, speaking your mind, and letting others know your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It’s speaking up and standing by your own thought and opinions even when others disagree and it may be scary to speak up. It’s having boundaries, limits, and standards for yourself. It is living your values and honoring them day to day in your daily actions, words, and behaviors. It is being assertive and standing up for your right to be who you are, respected, loved, and honored as you are now. 

It is creating your own path and trusting yourself that you will catch yourself if you fail. It is knowing your worth is not tied to anything or anyone external to you. It is knowing that only you and no one else can validate your worth. It is speaking up and showing up for yourself every single day. It is showing who you are to others even when it feels scary, vulnerable or you fear rejection. It is expressing and honoring your wants and needs. It is being kind to yourself and giving youse self grace. It is knowing that what you think and feel about yourself is the ONLY opinion that matters. It is taking risks. It is having integrity. 

And it’s not a quick fix or overnight success, It takes work and practice. It takes failing and falling but never giving up on yourself. It takes persistence. It is a continuous process and by no means easy. But is possible and with practice, you can get there.

I know because I’ve gone through this journey myself and each and every day provides me an opportunity to practice the things above. The things we don’t realize is that each time we make a decision it can hurt or help our self-esteem, and what we believe about our own self-worth. What will you choose? Will you choose superficial confidence or real, deep, lasting satisfied confidence? I know what I chose and continue to choose.