How to Build Self Trust

Jan 17, 2023Self-Confidence

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Welcome to She’s Alive to Thrive. I’m Tiffany, therapist and certified confidence coach. These lessons I share are all the little nuggets of information I have learned, relearned, or have been helpful for my clients who are on their journey to being self-respecting, self-loving, strong women. 

Alright, so today I want to talk about one surprising thing that has really been a boost to self-trust. And of course, having self-trust is a building block to building confidence.

But first I want you to think about this friend. Think about a friend who always breaks their promises to you, who doesn’t show up for you when they said they will, who lies, and who is inconsistent with their actions and words. How would you feel about a friend like that? What would you think? Would you trust them? Or would you think to yourself “Yeah right”, “I won’t get my hopes up” I’ll believe it when I see it”?

And I want you to think about yourself. Have you done any of these? Just like your closest friends and family earned your trust, and in fact, they could lose it or do things that make you question your trust in them, it’s the same with you. What does your track record look like with yourself? What do you think about the things that you promise to yourself and the word that you make to yourself? Would you like you as a friend to yourself if they behaved the way you behave towards you?

We don’t sometimes realize how much our own actions speak volumes to us and the more and more we behave in certain ways towards ourselves then it becomes not only who we think we are but also we are set a negative reputation with ourselves. And these actions can either build the trust we have within ourselves or break it.

So how can you begin to trust yourself more you say? It comes down to keeping your word. Keeping the promises you made to yourself, honoring your word to yourself as much as your word to someone else. Proving to yourself that your word to yourself is just as valuable and you are just as valuable as someone else. 

So today is a call to keep your word and honor the word that you gave to yourself. When I sat down to write a post or email I realized that I wasn’t always consistent. I sometimes brushed it off like it could wait or that other things took priority. I sometimes felt because I was the only one holding myself accountable that it didn’t matter because I was the only one I had to answer to. Or I would make up an excuse for why it didn’t matter.

It didn’t occur to me that every time I sat down or didn’t that I was reinforcing a belief or behavior that either would help me or hurt me. The more I didn’t show up the more I believed I was just lazy or didn’t have the will to do it or even maybe that it wasn’t the right thing to be doing. 

Now I know that it’s much more important than that. Every time I show up and do what I set out to do I’m showing myself that I can trust my word. That I can trust that I will follow through for myself. Thay my word to myself is important and just as important as my word to anyone else. So here are a few steps to start practicing this. 

I want you to schedule something in your calendar that you’ve been putting off. Something small, something that will take less than an hour. And in this process, I want you to acknowledge and accept any resistance that comes up when it comes time to do it. Be kind to yourself in this process and know that some days you may feel like it and others you won’t but you can be kind and understanding to yourself in the process anyway. Then I want you to do it. Then rinse and repeat. See how you feel about your word a week from now after continuously showing up for yourself and keeping your word to yourself. 

I want to hear from you. How will you honor your word to yourself this week? If this is something you struggle with I would love to have a quick chat to see what’s really getting in your way. Until next time Tiffany